P.P.I.A.M.G.I.A.M.W* : 'I want to be a super-model'

Trya Banks has taught me many valuable lessons in life. Like the importance of ‘smiling with your eyes’ and that ‘no matter what you’re doing - from taking out the trash, to taking a dump, always remember to be a model’. Ok, I’m paraphrasing the bit about taking a shit, but you get my drift. I'm pretty sure I have all the right components to be a globe-trotting super-model. Sure, I may not be the best looking bitch on the planet, but many people have told me that I have ‘interesting features’. Maybe I’m too stupid to realise that ‘interesting’ is a friendly cover-up for ‘fugly’, but hey, I wanna model, Godammit!

I’d really have to work on my walk though, because the last time I wore heels, I morphed into some kind of clumsy Jar-Jar Binks type creature who’d just discovered why God gave them legs. But spending all my free time perfecting my catwalk is nothing when I think about all the free clothes I’m gonna bag. Whoop! I’m not sure if I want to be known simply as ‘Pashmina’ ala ‘Gisele’ or to go by my full name, yet. It’s a tough decision, but it’s one I have to make before I embark on my career in fashion. See you on the catwalk!

*Paula Pashmina Is A Material Girl In A Material World

Words: Pashmina

Pic spotted at Dirty Flaws