I don't really like white chicks, but Kate Jackson could get it. Standard.

The BT people gave out an award for the best music blog in the world the other day. Big thanks to all the people that voted for us, but unfortunately, we didn’t win.( we came fifth )

It might have something to do with this e-mail we got two weeks before the event:

Thank you for entering Styleslut.Blogspot.Com into the BT Internet awards for music blogs. We are happy to inform you that you have received a large amount of votes for your blog, but unfortunately, a number of BT officials have voiced their concern over its content. The running themes of racism, sexism and homophobia may cause problems with our sponsors when it comes to the actual issue of the award. Styleslut also has the minimum amount of music editorial to be classed as a music blog. All votes will still be valid, but if the issues stated above are not remotely addressed, then the styleslut blog may be disqualified from the Awards.

Yikes! In a rush to look like a real music blog, we quickly threw together a few album reviews. We had so much fun doing it, that we decided to do some more.



The Scissor Sisters - Ta-Dah

Ok, even we can admit that it was pretty cool to be a fag in 2004, but it’s 2006 now and we’re all like “ Oh ok, you take it up the ass and you have a recording contract? Big fucking deal!’’ We don’t care that you’re friends with the biggest gay in the village either - your music still sucks Bill Clinton balls.

-1 out of 5

Backyard Betty

Love Is All - Nine Times That Same Song

The Zutons had us all convinced that the Saxophone was a really shit instrument and that it had no legitimate place in modern music. Love Is All prove that a sax can actually sound pretty darn sexy if you know how to use it. The singer sounds like she’s doing non-stop Jazz hands at 80mph, while still finding time to wank off The Concretes sound engineer. It’s practically impossible to hate someone that sounds that excited to be making music. She also gave me a big Swedish smile when I gave her a styleslut badge the other day, so she’s kinda’ in my good books at the moment.

3.5 out of 5

StyleSlut

The Long Blondes - Someone To Drive You Home

When the Long Blondes first crawled out of the backwards cess-pit that is Yorkshire, people would giggle behind their backs and say that they’d be nothing more than a bunch of Northern chancers without Kate Jackson’s sultry vocals and surprisingly perky ass (she is a white chick after all). Don’t be so mean on the poor chaps! Even though Kate Jackson could probably release a solo album full of Kate Jackson burps and she'd probably sell like, a million copies and stay on top of the charts for 20 Kate Jackson years cos all the Kate Jackson fans would break their Kate Jackson Piggy Banks and buy lotsa' copies of it, the band still do a pretty good job. So, I bet you're thinking: 'what does the album sound like?' Well, I don’t like dancing much, but Giddy Stratospheres may just be the best song to dance to that begins with the letter G ever made in the world, ever. Need I say more?

3.5 Kate Jacksons out of 5

BB

Lupe Fiasco - Food & Liquor

Do you remember YO MTV Raps? That was a really good show. I wish MTV would bring it back. Shanktown Lengman and Backyard Betty could present it. It would probably be taken off the air after the first week - cos Shanktown has a potty mouth and Betty is quite relaxed with the offensive racial slurs, but boy would it be a first week of a show! I dunno if they'd play Lupe Fiasco though, cos he's a bit boring. Kick Push is cool, but after a while I just started to hear 'yadds yadda yadda muslim conscious nerd yadda'. Could you take 52 minutes of that? I'm sure even his press officer gets a bit bored of him rambling on and fucking on.

3 Out of 5

SS

*Note to dozy press people: send us stuff early so we can review it before it actually comes out, yeah?

Pic By The Mofo (myspace.com/leezo_mofo)