Guys: Tips for making girls fall in love with you (1)

Don’t Call.

Why would you ever call a girl? To talk about your day and express your emotions? Read that back and say it out aloud. Sounds pretty gay, right? So why would you instigate something like that? Let her call you. She’ll be sitting there asking herself ‘why hasn’t this nigga called me, does he think he’s too good to pick up the phone and dial my number?’ Well, yeah, pretty much. The self-doubt will slowly eat away at her confidence and you’ll turn into a studly amalgamation of Robert Pattinson and Tupac.

Words: Lynch Whitee

Pic: Them Thangs

This Sunday

Nollywood Trailer: 'Wild & Dirty'

This film looks amazing. The announcers enthusiasm is quite infectious, no?


'Three girls on a mission to finish men. PROSTITUTION! HUMAN TRAFFIC! KILLING!'

We may start posting/reviewing these regularly.

Previously: this

Gimmie a burger and I’ll show you the world!

Imagine you were really good at flipping burgers. You flip those little slabs of meat with so much finesse and precision, that it becomes an art. You’re like the Picasso of burger flipping. So you’re sitting in your house one day after a hard week of work, flicking through ‘Burger Flipping Monthly’ or some shit, and you see an advert for a agency that’s looking for actors for an upcoming movie. But what could this movie be about? Yep, you guessed it. Flipping burgers.

This job's gotta yours, right? You OWN that shit. So, you turn up to the casting and you’re flipping those meat patties like your life depends on it. You’re serving like the Serena and Venus of burgers and you’re thinking ‘this job is mine. I’m gonna get an Oscar and maybe even a Grammy’. So you take your ass home and wait for ‘the call’, but it never comes. WTF?! 18 months later, the movie drops - but who's this dude that bagged YOUR role? He hasn’t got a clue about burgers, or the act of ‘flipping’. He’s some classically trained pussy, who used his ‘acting skills’ to get the role. This sucks!

I guess that’s how these mentally disabled people feel when actors who aren’t mentally disabled take their roles in movies/TV etc.

What’s the world coming to when non-retards are playing retards and non-burger flippers are playing flippers? Jeez.

Words: Donny Crunk

Inside a dude’s brain (3): 'G'Bye Porn'

The latest installment of what is already being described as 'the best column on Styleslut, ever' can be read over on Street Carnage.

Check it out here.

Previously: this

Awesome stuuf (2)

R.I.P. BIG BABY JESUS

Have you seen Rihanna's chest in the 'Russian Roulette' video?

It looks amazing. I don’t ever remember looking at Rihanna’s cleavage or being impressed with it in any way - but this time, I couldn’t keep my eyes off it. Perhaps she’s had a slight boob job. Or she may be doing that thing that girls do where they wear a dress that makes their breasts squeeze together to make them look bigger than they actually are. They appear to be pert, firm and most importantly, fun. Like a body-building clown on uppers.

8/10

Wrds: Donny Crunk

Radioactive In Kazakhstan

Sixty years ago, the Soviet Union detonated its first nuclear weapon, nicknamed "First Lightning",in northeast Kazakhstan (formerly the Kazakh SSR). The radiation has silently devastated three generations of people in Kazakhstan - the total number affected is thought to be more than one million - creating health problems ranging from thyroid diseases, cancer, birth defects, deformities, premature aging, and cardiovascular diseases.

Click here for more pics/info.

Spotted @ Hamburger Eyes

Awesome stuuf (1)

Another blog about a crush

I’ve had something I’ve wanted to get off my dick for a while. You know that rapper Nicki Minaj? Well, I really wanna bone that. I’ve got a humongous crush on her.

I know we talk about crushes on this site a lot, which is a great, because sexual frustration and infatuation directed at people who are out of reach makes the world go round. It truly does. If we stopped fancying pop stars, porn stars and people from TV shows, the world would stop spinning and the sun would blow up. You’d go to the bank tomorrow and they’d be like ‘sorry, we’ve got no money. It’s run out!’ Everything would be topsy turvey.




The best part about Nicki is that whole 'black Barbie/Valley girl from the hood' thing she's got going on. Oh and did I mention that her thighs and ass are GINORMOUS? I can imagine sleeping on them and being transported to a world where racism no longer exists, you get 12 birthday’s a year and Pop Tarts are still the de rigueur breakfast choice. I guess her rapping is strangely alluring, too. Not that I care about that stuff. I’m more concerned with why some jellz hataz made a You-Tube vid full of hatin-ass liez. Butt Pads? My Nicki?? No fuckin way. I call shenanigans!

Words: Donald Crunk